The Girl With The Weight Of The World In Her Hands
by Iruka-Yuywell
Summary: Relena POV. I don't normaly like her, but this just kindof came to me and beged to be writtin.


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, the Indigo Girls, or their music.  
  
~lyrics~  
  
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The Girl With the Weight of the World in Her Hands  
  
By: Iruka Yuywell  
  
I sit here in my room, only half dressed for the meeting in ten minutes, staring at a picture of my father. Well the man I grew up believing was my father. I wonder what he would think of me now. How did he handle it all? Some times I wish I could ask his advice.  
  
~she won't recover from her losses  
  
she's not chosen this path  
  
but she watches who it crosses~  
  
Why couldn't be a normal girl? What's so special about me? I don't have any special powers or training. Millardo would be so much better at this than me. He at least remembers the kingdom our father ruled. I've only seen his face in pictures.  
  
~maybe move to the right  
  
maybe move to the left  
  
so we can all see her pain she wears  
  
like a banner on her chest~  
  
Oh just great. That would have to be my aide coming to get me. Maybe if I faked a head ache… No. This is too important to miss. Just pull on the coat and go. If they ask you're not feeling well, but the meeting must go on.  
  
~and we all say it's sad  
  
and we think it's a shame  
  
and she's called to our attention  
  
but we do not call her name~  
  
Why is everyone staring like that? I know I look a little under the whether, but it can't be that bad. "Good evening Vice Foreign Minister." "Good evening. Is there some thing wrong?"  
  
~the girl with the weight  
  
of the world in her hands~  
  
"Oh no Miss Peacecraft. Everything is fine." "It's Dorlian." "Miss Dorlian. I'm sorry." They never do get that right. Being a princess is not at all what it's cracked up to be.  
  
~cause we're busy with our happiness  
  
and busy with our plans  
  
I wonder if alone she wants it  
  
taken from her hands~  
  
Fain attention, maybe you won't have to say anything this time. If you do just spout off something that sounds wise and mature. They'll never know the difference. You're just a figure head to them. As long as Relena is here everything is ok. If Relena says it, it must be true. Yeah right. I'm that important.  
  
~but if things didn't keep getting harder  
  
she might miss her sacred chance  
  
to go a consecrated martyr~  
  
Here's a thought. Maybe I can still get Heero to kill me. If I leave a note and a pardon, it will only be assisted suicide. No…that's just a childish notion.  
  
~the girl with the weight  
  
of the world in her hands~  
  
I'm so tired of it all. Sometimes I think death really is the only way out. But I can't die now. Too much depends on me. I can't even take a vacation without something falling apart around here.  
  
~I wonder which saint  
  
that lives inside a bead  
  
will grant her consolation  
  
when she counts upon her need~  
  
I stopped praying for anything the day I found out about Heero and Duo. I know now it's for the best. I never really loved ether of them. Just school girl crushes. And I can't afford to be a little girl anymore.  
  
~it makes us all angry  
  
though we feign to care  
  
but who will be the scale  
  
to weigh the cross she has to bear~  
  
All the so called "grown-ups". They treat me like some kind of porcelain princess, but expert me to be their sole source of support. They call me a child and tell me to grow up. I wish sometimes they would take their own advice. Buck up and learn to keep their own peace.  
  
~the girl with the weight  
  
of the world in her hands~  
  
I'm not saying that I no longer support peace. On the contrary, it's still my one dream. But why do I have to be the only one to try and keep it alive in the political arena? Like I said before, Millardo would be so much better at this than me.  
  
~is the glass half-full or empty  
  
I ask her as I fill it  
  
she said it doesn't really matter  
  
pretty soon you're bound to spill it~  
  
And I know for a fact that one day I'll not be enough. Heero was right when he told me that pacifism is just a dream. I learned that the hard way. If it weren't for the Preventers, I would have failed to keep the peace long ago.  
  
~with the half logic language  
  
of the sermon she delivers  
  
and the way she smiles so knowingly  
  
at me gives me the shivers~  
  
Another day, another speech. I only believe about half the stuff I say anymore. I've become a liar. I lie to myself and the world everyday. I look out my window and watch children play. I wish I had that kind of freedom. I fight so hard for something I'll never enjoy.  
  
~I pull the blanket higher  
  
when I'm finally safe at home  
  
and she'll take a hundred with her  
  
but she always sleeps alone~  
  
I cry myself to sleep every night and wonder why I still do it all. Maybe someday I'll understand. If I live that long. I wonder if death would really be a relief?  
  
~the girl with the weight  
  
of the world in her hands~ 


End file.
